I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize