Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Bring me that man meat
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
