The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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