Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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