his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
