Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
