went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
pray to the hookup gods
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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