That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
