no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize