I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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