I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
