i don't like sucking hair
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
wow bdsm is so cute
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
