If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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