I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.