my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
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It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?