My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.