when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize