do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
