you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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