I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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