sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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