I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
