I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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