It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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