the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
