how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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