I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
