God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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