And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you still have your period?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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