I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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