Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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