Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
