i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
try to milk me bitch
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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