look no pants
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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