A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
