i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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