I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
