At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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