so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think my fart just growled at me.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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