im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Every concussion has its silver lining
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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