Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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