i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
