Having a random hookup so left but love u
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
