Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm really busy with my period
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