I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
True strength comes from lack of pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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