yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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