if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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