Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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