I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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