puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
