already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
