Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I looked at my own cervix.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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