dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
