I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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