Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
