oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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