I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
