I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
