If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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