I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's just like the Real World with babies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
