She announced her abortion via fbk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize